You Crocodile Dundee’d Them

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 01:00 am
[syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed

Posted by Not Always Right

Butcher | Fryslân, The Netherlands

(It’s the day before Christmas and we’re packed with people picking up their orders. I’m helping a customer when my coworker helps the next person in line.)

Customer: *while pulling out a knife* “Give me all your money! NOW!”

Coworker: *panics*

Me: *grabbing the biggest knife on the counter* “I’m sorry, what did you say, [Customer]?

(The customer, a former classmate of mine who was on drugs, ran out of the door after seeing me with that knife. The customers didn’t have a clue what was happening.)

The post You Crocodile Dundee’d Them appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 08:42 pm
[syndicated profile] ao3_stevetony_feed

Posted by <a href="/users/tonystarkssnipples/pseuds/tonystarkssnipples" rel="author">tonystarkssnipples</a>

by

Turns out, it was a date. Tony wouldn’t tell Rhodes and Pepper that over his belly-up, dead-ass body, but yeah. It ended up being a date. It was a good date. A great date.

Words: 1150, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

more promotions

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 09:27 am
tielan: (MCU - Maria/Steve)
[personal profile] tielan
The [community profile] wipbigbang is still looking for artists. There's a whole range of stories that are looking for artists, whether graphics designers or fanmixers or illustrators.

(Yes, I'm in there; I don't know if I'm still waiting for an artist, I haven't checked. I'm a little iffy about whether or not I'll be finished in time, but I'm damn well going to try.)

--

And then [community profile] seasonofkink is starting up again from 1st June.

Rules | FAQ | Kink Prompts

you are the wind

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 05:49 pm
thistleingrey: (Default)
[personal profile] thistleingrey
Chandra Prasad, On Borrowed Wings (2007): in the 1930s US Northeast, a rich-WASP-family mother and Italian American quarrier father had two children. Charles was homeschooled rigorously to attend college; Adele, quicker of memory, was always told she'd marry a quarrier, even as her father began dying from the stone dust before middle age. Then something happens, and Adele takes Charles's place as a Yale frosh in drag.

I had expected rather worse. (Sorry.) As it is, the narrative has about the critical depth of a '00s jdrama: the story lines up some dots, then leaves the reader/viewer to connect them or search for more while it flits to the next scene. Adele cannot help but activate dots as she muses upon quarry misfortunes, her mother's iron recollections of being a rich girl, or the entirely new landscape of Yale, where the maids in the dining hall remind her of herself, taking in laundry a few months prior. But Adele is only a bit too thin as a character enabling the writer's gaze to slice and parry some dust bunnies of privilege; it's fine. It's actually a relief to have the cross-dressing topos given straight so that one may focus upon 1936 as depicted: Adele takes a workstudy placement involving eugenic research which she (incredibly) bends from the inside out. The love interest is obligatory, probably the weakest aspect.

Adele's heritage is based upon that of one of Prasad's parents. I borrowed Wings from the library after seeing a ref to Mixed, an anthology of short stories edited by Prasad which the local libraries don't have.

Getting The Short(bread) End Of The Stick

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 12:00 am
[syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed

Posted by Not Always Right

Home | England, UK

I have been baking for a while, and I know my family’s taste and any allergies they have. I moved out eight months earlier and for about five months some of the treats have been going missing. Nothing major, just a few cakes here and some biscuits there, but I have now lost my patience as the cookies I baked for my friend’s birthday have all been eaten. I decide to have a barbeque to find out who is doing it.

I invite several people to the barbeque including my aunt. The day before, I bake some Nutella shortbread, put them in a box, and leave them in the kitchen by the biscuit tin. My idea is that whoever is eating the treats will go to the biscuit tin, find it empty apart from a few rich tea biscuits, and then eat some of the treat.

I know that if my aunt eats anything with nuts in it, it will give her a bad migraine.

Fast forward to the next day and the barbeque. I leave the kitchen door open and the patio door leading to the front room in case anyone needs the toilet. Around 10 people show up and whenever one of them leaves I go and check the shortbread but bring something out with me. Sure enough the box is opened and some shortbread has been eaten and then moved about so you can’t tell.

An hour later the barbeque ends when it starts raining and everyone goes home except my mum. I count the cakes to find out that three have been eaten and now there are seven left.

I give them to my mum who offers them to my aunt when she visits her. Apparently she refused saying last time she ate them she got a migraine. I have never made Nutella shortbread for anyone. The treats have now stopped disappearing.

The post Getting The Short(bread) End Of The Stick appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

I ATEN'T DEAD

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 02:10 am
dhampyresa: (Default)
[personal profile] dhampyresa
I CAN HAZ WORKING COMPUTER

Caliban #1

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 01:57 am
[personal profile] history79 posting in [community profile] scans_daily



"The idea that would eventually evolve into "Caliban" began when I heard there was going to be a prequel to "Alien", which is one of my all-time favourite films. What I like best about it is the sheer level of imagination on display; it gets you thinking about all kinds of possibilities. When I finally saw "Prometheus" I realised they’d gone in a completely different direction to what I expected, and given that I had all these ideas kicking about from my idle musing, I thought- why not?"

- Garth Ennis


Read more... )

Lobo Versus L.E.G.I.O.N.

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 11:48 pm
mrosa: (Default)
[personal profile] mrosa posting in [community profile] scans_daily
Since we don't have enough posts about Keith Giffen and Alan Grant's L.E.G.I.O.N, I decided to post scans from one of my favorite issues:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Read more... )
feliciacraft: felicia as editor of the Sunnydale Herald (herald editor)
[personal profile] feliciacraft posting in [community profile] su_herald
[Drabbles & Short Fiction] [Chaptered Fiction] [Images, Audio & Video] [Reviews & Recaps] [Recs] [Community Announcements] [Fandom Discussions]

Because Daddy Knows Best

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 07:02 pm
[syndicated profile] ao3_stevetony_feed

Posted by <a href="/users/PaperclipDean/pseuds/PaperclipDean" rel="author">PaperclipDean</a>

by

“Daddy? Why are you always right?”

“Because Daddy knows what’s best for his little baby,”

Steve believes he is a big boy that doesn’t need diapers at all. Tony is a loving Daddy who believes his baby is feeling quite little and needs some protection. Let’s see who’s right, and how it all comes to be.

Words: 6423, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Treat Yo Self!

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 09:04 am
tielan: (don't make me shoot you)
[personal profile] tielan
A way to finish your stories? (Heaven knows I have plenty of those.)

[community profile] treatyoselfcomm is an exchange designed to reduce your backlog. Creators signup with works that they want to work on, and then are matched to someone who is interested in helping them. You create for six weeks, and then the archive is revealed with your work(s). Simple!

FAQ

--

I'm interested, certainly, because having people to kick me along is always useful, but...I don't know. I won't have much time for the next month since I'm trying to finish the quilt I'm making for the show, and the timeline is pretty short for any of the longfics I have sitting around.

I'm debating whether or not to sign up for Marvel Bang this year, for much the same reason. Last year I had a lot more time b/c of project downtime. I don't expect the same this year. (I might end up with it if this 6 week contract isn't continued. I guess we'll see.)

wednesday, you know the drill

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 05:11 pm
isis: (squid etching)
[personal profile] isis
What I've recently finished reading: David Blaize, by E.F. Benson, which I learned about via ffa and snagged from Gutenberg (it was first published in 1916). This is an odd little novel by modern standards, a schoolboy Bildungsroman in which the adventures of the title character are mostly internal and emotional. There's really no overarching plot or structure, it's just the growing pains of the title character. (Growing pains plus way too much cricket for any non-Commonwealth reader to understand.) But these growing pains are genuinely affecting, sometimes funny, sometimes sweet, sometimes skirting the edges of a dimly-sensed abyss.

And that abyss, of course, would be homoeroticism. ) I found the book surprisingly readable and enjoyable, though I admit I skimmed the cricket scenes; so alas I will never be quite sure what, exactly, made David a bowler of the googliest type.

I also officially abandoned Deathless by Catherynne Valente, because I do not have time nor patience to wade through the hip-deep prose.

What I'm reading now: Still listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcast "Destroyer of Worlds" (about 85% done) and enjoying it, for values of 'enjoying' relating to listening to just how close we came to global thermonuclear war in the fifties and sixties.

I'm also about halfway through Vernor Vinge's A Fire Upon the Deep which was a free e-book from one of Tor's monthly promotions. The beginning was irritating, but I'm enjoying it now, mostly because it's one of the few SF books I've read where the aliens are really alien.

What I'm reading next: Still waiting for one of my library reserves to come through. In audio, I have In Our Backyard: Human Trafficking in America and What We Can Do to Stop It by Nita Belles from the Sync promotion, and you can download it for free through today only.

In other news I have just returned (well, Monday night) from a mini-vacation in the Paso Robles area of California, where we stayed with a friend - actually one of B's business partners - and drank way too much wine. And ate way too much food. It was really good! But not sustainable.

I am also about 2000 words into my Night on Fic Mountain assignment, which may be twice the minimum but is still only prologue to the actual story I want to tell, oog.

Speaking of fic, [archiveofourown.org profile] Hagar has podficced my Yuletide story The Greatest City in the World! (This is the story I wrote for The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker.) I have downloaded it already, and I guess that's what I'll listen to even before the next book!

Been Running This Shift For Too Long

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 11:00 pm
[syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed

Posted by Not Always Right

Pool | Canada

(At pools everywhere, the number one rule is no running on the pool deck. I have seen people hurt themselves terribly doing that, and even heard of an instances where people have broken a few bones doing this. Still, kids can’t contain themselves sometimes, so the number one thing I am always yelling across the pool is “WALK.” On this one day, I have done an open at 5:45 am and I am guarding a school group that is in later around 11 am. We have turned on the slide, and I see this one kid booking it to get to the deep end where this is happening. For some reason, in urgency my brain failed me and this is what happens:)

Me: “RUN!”

Kid: *stops running and looks at me confused*

Me: “…I meant WALK, but that got your attention, didn’t it?”

The post Been Running This Shift For Too Long appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

[ SECRET POST #3794 ]

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 07:10 pm
case: (Default)
[personal profile] case posting in [community profile] fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #3794 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


More! )


Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 17 secrets from Secret Submission Post #543.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Rivers of London #3-6

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 07:04 pm
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
[personal profile] sophia_sol
WELL I am now finished the Rivers of London series so I suppose I will post about the last four books all at once here since it feels weird to keep posting one at a time as if I'm not already done. Here we go!

Whispers Under Ground, by Ben Aaronovitch )

Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch )

Foxglove Summer, by Ben Aaronovitch )

The Hanging Tree, by Ben Aaronovitch )

Make Me

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 06:48 pm
[syndicated profile] ao3_stevetony_feed

Posted by <a href="/users/Dophne/pseuds/Dophne" rel="author">Dophne</a>

by

Tony is babbling and Steve knows he's nervous so he does the one thing that he knows will help calm his boyfriend down...and also shut him up.

"Shut up Tony," Steve says with a smile as he leans down to his boyfriend and pressing his lips to Tony's soft ones.

Tony smiles into the kiss and whispers as they break a part, "Make me."

Words: 7, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Stony Fanart-and a bit more

Art Claims Round 2

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 05:45 pm
reeby10: (Default)
[personal profile] reeby10 posting in [community profile] wipbigbang
Please leave comments for art claims on the Livejournal post. This post is only for reference.

Second round, same as the first, only better. We got some stories claimed this week, but we still have over 60 that are up for grabs and need some wonderful artists. In this round, you can definitely take two stories at a time. Everybody spread the word! Grab your artist friends, stuff them in a potato sack, and drag them here kicking and screaming if you have to! Stories are listed by fandom in alphabetical order and each story is tagged with the story name and a number identifying that story (for my records).

To claim a story, please leave a (screened) comment below with these details:

First Choice
Title of Story & #:

Second Choice
Title of Story & #:

Willing to Take Both?

Username:
Email:




Stories are first come, first serve. I'll update the post as stories are claimed. Official posting dates begin on July 8th. Once all stories are claimed and all artists/authors have been notified, I will put up a sign-up sheet so authors and artists can choose their posting dates.

Authors, if something is wrong with the info for your stories, please let me know ASAP via email at wipbigbang@gmail.com.

Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn )
American Idol )
Band of Brothers )
DCU (comics) )
Doctor Who/Torchwood )
Forever/The Mentalist )
Haikyuu!! )
Harry Potter (all verses) )
Harry Potter/Pacific Rim )

Hawaii Five-0/Oceans movies )
Hetalia )
Highlander/MCU )
Historical )
Hockey RPF )
Inuyasha )
James Bond )
Les Miserables )
Mad Men )
MCU )
Miraculous Ladybug )
NCIS: New Orleans )
Pacific Rim/MCU )
The Raven Cycle )
The Sentinel )
Sherlock )
Silmarillion )
Sports Night )
Star Trek: AOS )
Star Wars (all verses) )
Stargate Atlantis )
Supernatural RPF )
Supernatural/The Amazing Spider-Man )
Teen Wolf )
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) )
Wynonna Earp )

Profile

katherine: Girl with glasses: Fuzzy cat with a folded pair of glasses by her paw. (Default)
Katherine

Tags